People take months, sometimes years, to plan their marriage, yet sometimes rush into divorce proceedings when things don’t work out. If you are headed toward divorce, you’ll find that careful planning before you begin the divorce will make the process less anxiety-filled and result in a better outcome. Here are steps you should take as you plan for divorce:
- Attend a Second Saturday Divorce Workshop (hotlink) and consult an attorney about your legal rights.
- Write a narrative for your attorney detailing the date you began living together, the date you married, your children’s birth dates, previous separations, when various assets were acquired, and the separate property either of you brought into the marriage or inherited.
- Gather information about what you own and what you owe. You’ll need copies of financial statements, tax returns, retirement plan documents, brokerage statements and insurance plans.
- Obtain detailed information on each retirement plan in which you and your spouse have participated.
- Consult with a financial professional about the tax consequences of keeping or selling the house. (see related article: Divorce Planning Tips If You Own Your Home)
- Pay bills and credit cards from joint funds before separation, so you don’t get stuck with them later.
- Find out what is in the safe deposit box. Secure both keys, if possible.
- Prepare a spending history for last year from your checkbooks to determine future needs and where to cut back.
- Before separation, use joint funds to repair your automobile and home, buy clothes for yourself and your children, and get needed dental work and medical checkups. If you wait until after separation, those expenses will be yours alone.
- Set aside cash reserves to use in the first few months of separation. Transfer your share of joint funds to your separate bank account.
- Apply for credit cards in your own name. That way, you’ll be able to cancel all joint credit cards and still have credit cards available for your own needs.
- Discuss divorce with your spouse as calmly as possible. Find out what his hot buttons are, and where he is willing to make concessions.
- Find a good therapist or support group to help you through the months ahead. Divorce is too traumatic to go through alone.
- Take your time and don’t rush matters. Planning a divorce is best done deliberately and slowly. This is your chance for a new beginning.